Hard Times
by horsebacks26
Summary: The Camden's have been falling apart for the past ten years. They are barely a family anymore, but think the worst is over. They're in for surprise.
1. The Past, The Present, and The Future

Don't own any characters.

**Chapter One  
The Past, The Present, and The Future**

**You never know how strong you are until  
being strong is the only choice you have.**

_Where is he? _Annie Camden thought to herself

Annie had been sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for her husband to return home for six hours. He had been working late hours the past few months trying to open a second parish, but he promised he would be home no later than five today. She looked at the clock and saw there was only an hour left to this particular day.

Ruthie sat on the kitchen stairs, watching her mother repetitively check the clock. Annie watched as the minute hand ticked forward every sixty seconds. _11:07, 11:08, 11:09_ Ruthie counted along in her head. She chuckled when she saw the time was now 11:11. Her brothers and sisters had told her years ago about this special minute-a minute where any wish you make will come true. They said Ruthie's wishes were more likely to come true because she was born on November 11, but that was a lie. Even on Ruthie's 11th birthday at 11:11, her wish didn't come true.

When the clock struck midnight, Annie went up to their bedroom their 30th wedding anniversary was over now. There was no point in staying up to celebrate the happiest day of her life with the one she could not live without. She spent hours tossing and turning wondering where Eric could be before falling into a restless sleep.

When Eric finally returned home at 5 AM, he noticed the dry tear tracks on his wife's face and felt a pang of guilt run through him. He wished for the days when things were simpler. When anniversaries we happy and celebrated to the fullest. He didn't fully understand why he did any of it, but he didn't regret it. His actions were completely right and he still stood by them. He did regret what it did to his family. What it's _still_ doing to his family. When he finally fell asleep, his dreams were filled with the days when "family" actually meant something.

The next morning, Annie woke up to find her husband sleeping beside her. Typical of a married couple, yes, but his peaceful form angered her greatly. How could he sleep so deeply when she had tossed and turned all night long? How could he think she would allow him to share a bed with her when he had missed their anniversary, a milestone anniversary? She began shaking him awake.

"Where the hell were you last night?"

Eric woke with a start, confused as to who was yelling at him and why. When he remembered his broken promise from the night prior, he quickly exclaimed, "I'm so sorry, honey! I really tried to be home by five but it's not easy opening a new parish. You know that!"

"And you didn't think to call? I spent our 30th wedding anniversary alone!"

"I'll make it up to you, Annie. I promise!"

"Your promises mean so very little to me lately. You have been more and more distant over these past few months and I'm tired of it, Eric. This was our 30th wedding anniversary. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course it does, Annie. I love you. You know that, right?"

"I understand that you have to work late, Eric, but it's every single night and it's not just an hour or two. When's the last time you came home before I went to sleep? I don't know if you love me, Eric, but I do know that, at least lately, you love your work much more than you love me or this family."

"We have been married thirty years, of course I love you. And I would die for all three of those kids, you know that. They mean the world to me, that's why I'm opening a new church! I want to give them everything they could ever want. I can try to do some of the work at home from now on, but I can't promise anything."

Before Annie could respond, there was a knock at the door, which then opened, revealing Ruthie.

"Sorry, don't mean to interrupt, but Sam, David and I are starting to get hungry, so I wanted to know if you were making breakfast or if I should," Ruthie awkwardly spit out.

"Yes, I'll make it. I'll be down in a minute. Please help your brothers get dressed."

Ruthie turned to do what her mother had asked but not without worrying about what she had just overheard. She knew her parents were going through a rough spot but didn't really give it a second thought. She had heard many arguments throughout her life, which was expected. Married people fight, but this was different. This was her parents questioning their love for each other. This wasn't yelling and screaming about a difference of opinion. This sounded more like giving up.

At breakfast, Ruthie watched her parents carefully, analyzing every facial expression, word, or movement. She did notice that their faces no longer held the glow once present whenever her parents looked at each other, the glow that had always confirmed for her brothers, sisters, and herself that Annie and Eric Camden we soul mates and madly, deeply in love with each other. For the first time in years, Ruthie Camden just wanted her big brothers and sisters to take care of it. For them to hold her and tell her everything would all be okay.

She shook her head as if it would remove all thoughts of the past from her mind. They were always there, no matter how hard she tried to erase them. It's been ten years since that day, the worst day of her life. Ruthie was certain that memory would never go away, even if all the others since did. That day changed her life completely and she missed what it had been before. Her life was most certainly not perfect, but it was still pretty good. She was loved and that's all that really matters. She would leave if it were not for Sam and David. Ruthie was their big sister and it was her job to protect them from any pain and hurt, especially when she herself had been through that pain multiple times. She would never purposefully put anyone through this.

When Eric drove his two youngest sons to their elementary school that morning, he could barely contain his tears. He knew what he was doing was unforgiveable and would destroy his family. His five oldest children had grown up with a stable, loving family. They had a good model for relationships and marriage and a mother and a father living in the same house and involved in every aspect of their children's lives. Eric knew that this would not be the same for Sam and David and it was his entire fault. Ten years ago, it seemed like the perfect plan and was best for the entire family. He had good reasons, though, reasons that still made sense.

Because high schools get out earlier than elementary schools, Ruthie and Annie had time to spend alone "just girls" until Sam and David returned home. This was Ruthie's favorite time of the day because it gave her a chance to talk to her mom without any interruptions, which is rare when you have six siblings. Today, however, Ruthie was not looking forward to this time alone. She wanted her siblings there to distract her from what she had overheard that morning. The minute she entered the house, Ruthie sprinted towards her attic bedroom, but was not quick enough.

"Where are you running off to? I thought we were going to paint each other's nails today."

"Um, yeah, I have homework…"

"Oh, you can do that later! This is our special time together and pretty soon you'll be off at college. I only have you full-time for a few more months and I want to make the most of it!"

"Well, if I don't go do my homework then I'll fail and won't graduate. Do you really think the cost of not graduating outweighs me staying another year?"

"Ruthie. I don't want you to forget about your homework. I just want you to put it off until the boys get home. I think you can spare an hour to spend with your dear old mother."

"Alright, mom. Do you have everything set up?"

"Yes, it's all in the kitchen. I thought we could also make some snacks while we chatted."

"That sounds perfect, Mom. Thank you."

"Oh, no, honey, thank you. You have no idea how much these afternoons mean to me. It's nice to be reminded that our family sticks together and can talk about anything. I love you kids so much and you're all just growing up so fast."

"They mean a lot to me, too. It's nice to be able to spend time together, just the two of us. I really will miss you guys next year."

"Oh, baby, we will miss you, too. Any thought as to where you would like to apply?"

"No, but I still don't want anyone to know. I love you all but sometimes I make decisions based on what you want instead of what I want."

"Well, you should definitely go with what you want. We will all try to stay out of it."

"Yeah, that's why I'm keeping all of that stuff at Peter's house. You can try all you want but no Camden has ever been able to stay out of other people's business."

"Yes, and you, my dear, are the queen."

"Hey! I think Dad is pretty good at it himself."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess he is."

"What's going on with you and Dad?"

"Nothing, sweetie, everything's fine. You know our family goes through life together. We can't be separated."

Ruthie couldn't help but to mutter under her breath, "Like we haven't been already."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said, 'Shouldn't we be painting our nails already?'"

"Oh, yes, of course! What color?"

"Hmmm…how about lime green?"

"Good choice! So, how was school today?

"School was school. I learn things I couldn't care less about."

"Well, in college you'll be able to take only classes that interest you."

"Yeah, but I don't really know what that is. I have absolutely no idea what I want to be when I grow up."

"You don't have to know what you want your major to be to take interesting classes. Experiment! That's what college is all about!"

"I guess you're right."

"I'm your mother. I'm always right."

"Yeah, Mom, okay."

Ruthie and Annie spent the rest of the time talking until the boys returned home. Ruthie retreated to her attic bedroom and lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She thought about how much her life had changed over the past few years and how much she wish it could go back to the way it was. Her phone rang and when she saw it was her boyfriend, Peter, she answered right away.

"Hey, Peter."

"You okay?"

"Ha, yeah, I'm fine. Just dealing with my stupid family as usual. I wish I could just get away from them all."

"No, you wish you could just get away from your parents. I know you would never leave Sam and David."

"Except I have to and that kills me."

"You're not him, Ruthie. He left because he was selfish. You'll be leaving because it's time for you to leave. You can't protect Sam and David forever."

"I have to. I'm all they have left."

"They can depend on each other."

"They need a big sister."

"They have one."

"They should have three."


	2. Broken is the new Happiness

Don't own any characters.

**Chapter Two  
Broken is the New Happiness****  
****  
Made my mistakes, let you down****  
****And I can't, I can't hold on for too long****  
****Ran my whole life in the ground****  
****And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone.****  
****-Yellowcard**

Dinner at the Camden household was always a family meal. That's why Annie wouldn't serve the food until all five members were present, which is why Ruthie was currently pissed off at her mother. Her father hadn't been home for dinner in months, what was so different from today?

"Because today he said he would try super hard to be home for dinner, Ruthie."

Her mother could believe it all she wants, but Ruthie would not. She was hungry and wanted to eat her dinner quickly so that she could go out with Peter.

"If you keep up this attitude, you're not going to see Peter for a _very_ long time."

And with that Ruthie got up and left, texting Peter to meet her at Pete's Pizza.

"I really don't understand my mother. My dad does not want to eat dinner with us anymore! Why can't she just get that through her head?" Ruthie shouted, full after eating four pieces of pizza.

"Maybe they're trying to work things out. Or maybe she knows something you don't."

"Oh, she definitely knows something I don't. She won't tell me, her own daughter, anything! I'm so tired of it!"

"Maybe it's better that you don't get involved, though. Maybe they don't want to put you in the middle."

"Peter, I swear to God if you say maybe one more time I'll kick you in the middle of your legs where you really don't want me to."

"Noted."

Annie was beyond angry. Not only was she waiting for her husband to return home, but also her 18-year-old daughter who had left without saying where she was going and was not answering her phone calls. Ruthie did not agree with Annie that they should wait for Eric to return home, even though he had promised Annie things would be better. About 20 minutes after Ruthie left, Annie also gave up and served a lonely dinner. She had had enough. She was going to find out what was going on with her husband. Tonight.

"Oh, you're still up."

"Yes, Eric, imagine that. You're not the only one staying up until 4 AM. Care to tell me what you have been doing?"

"Annie, don't start. You know what I was doing. I'm too tired to get into this again."

"You wanna know why you're tired, Eric? Because it's 4:07 IN THE MORNING!"

"I'm not doing this, Annie! We can discuss this in the morning! Right now we are tired and emotional!"

"Oh, no. We are going to discuss this right now. I held up dinner for you tonight. Ruthie left because she was tired of waiting for you. I have no idea where she is right now, Eric, and instead of sitting here waiting and worrying with me, you were somewhere else! I want to know what that place is. I _deserve_ to know what that place is."

"I owe you nothing, Annie. Don't blame me because _you_ lost our daughter! I never asked you to wait to eat with me; you did that all on your own!"

"She left because of _you! _She's tired of putting her life on hold for you!"

"Ruthie understands that I have to work a little more now because of the new church; why can't you?"

"Just because she has accepted the fact that her father is no longer present in her life doesn't mean she understands!"

Eric was stunned. He knew he had been distanced lately, for obvious reasons, but that didn't mean he didn't love his family, right? He was just trying not to disappoint them. He turned to walk up the stairs when Annie stopped him.

"So, you're just going to go to sleep not knowing where Ruthie is?"

"Ruthie is probably with Peter."

"And what if she's not? What if she's hurt or something, Eric?"

"Stop being such a control freak! Ruthie is fine. She's 18; she can take care of herself!"

"Who are you? You are not the man I married."

"And you are not the woman I married but you don't see me complaining."

"Tell me the truth, Eric. I want the truth. Where have you been these past few months?"

"I have told you multiple times!"

"I don't believe that you've been at church! You have _never_ worked this much, even when you did start the first church. It should be easier this time!"

"It's not, Annie, and you should be able to trust me when I tell you so! I'm your _husband!_"

"Are you? Because for the past couple of months I have felt like a single mom. I take care of the kids while you're…God knows where!"

"I have told you what I'm doing in a clear and concise manner. I don't know what else you want from me."

"I want the truth! I want my husband to acknowledge his family once in a while!"

"Goodnight, Annie. I will be sleeping in the guest room tonight and we will discuss this in the morning."

Before Annie could follow up the stairs, but to different bedrooms, she heard a noise at the door. She turned to see Ruthie, standing in shock.

"So, nothing's wrong, huh?"

"Everything is fine, Ruthie."

"Really? Because usually when a husband and wife aren't sleeping in the same room, at least in this decade, there's something wrong."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ruthie."

"Okay, so then explain it to me!"

"No, Ruthie! Your father and I are just fine! And if we weren't it would be none of your business! You are my daughter, not my friend!"

"Stop lying to me! I'm not stupid and I'm not a little kid! I can see that you and dad are not okay! And yeah, I am your daughter, which means it is my business! I should be able to know whether or not my parents are happily married or headed toward divorce!"

"Ruth Ann! Do not speak to me that way! I will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it, but as of right now, your father and I are married and staying that way."

"So, you're not happy?"

"We are happy. We are not getting divorced. End of discussion."

"You know what, Mom? The only person happy in this house is the dog. Our so-called family fell apart ten years ago. They left and took any hope of happiness for us with them. Stop pretending everything is okay because no one believes it."

"Go to bed, Ruthie. We'll discuss your punishment for your little outing in the morning."

"Of course we will because that's what we do in this family. We put off talking about the important stuff until morning. We don't argue, we just leave. Whatever, Mom."

Ruthie hated her life because her family was in it. She wanted to just get away from them but knew she couldn't. She swore she would never leave Sam and David alone in this place. She wouldn't let them hurt the way she was hurting.

David and Sam woke up the next morning oblivious to what had occurred the night before. They had learned to sleep through the yelling many years ago, as it was the only way to get any sleep in their house. Ruthie cooked them breakfast before she left for school. The boys sat in silence, confused as to what had happened to cause Ruthie to leave so early. She always made sure to eat with Sam and David and hated leaving them alone with their parents. When their parents finally came down to join them, it almost seemed as if nothing was wrong. Almost.

Sam and David still had no idea what was going on when they arrived home after school to find Ruthie was not there. They knew the time between when Ruthie got home and they got how special mother-daughter bonding time was. Today was also Friday, which meant Lucy and Kevin would be coming over for dinner, an event Ruthie always looked forward to. Sam and David didn't really understand why Ruthie was so attached to Lucy. The pair wasn't really all that close but Ruthie seemed terrified that at any moment, Lucy would leave. They didn't understand that. Lucy would never leave her family.

Ruthie finally came home shortly before Lucy and Kevin arrived. She locked herself in her bedroom and only unlocked it when Lucy went up. Sam and David weren't surprised by this. Lucy was Ruthie's only older sibling so Ruthie really looked up to Lucy. They were, however, surprised by the conversation that went on between them.

"Ruthie, why are you hiding yourself up here? Are you okay?"

"I live in a hellhole; do you really think I'm okay?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't lie, Lucy. I know you wish you weren't here."

"Ruthie, I'm here now, doesn't that count for something?"

"No."

"What do I have to do, Ruthie? I've been trying so hard to make it up to you but no matter what I try you just won't let it go!"

"I don't know, Lucy. I just don't know."

"I'm sorry you had to do it alone. You're stronger than any of us were."

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's not fair that you have to do it alone."

"I have Sam and David. They would never leave me alone and I'd never leave them. But, I am glad I have you now."

"I'm sorry you only have me."

"I'm not talking about them."

The young boys could not understand why Ruthie was so bitter toward Lucy. They thought Ruthie looked up to Lucy and that was why they were so attached. What had happened to Ruthie and Lucy that would make Ruthie so untrusting in Lucy? The last thing they heard was the most alarming to them. The girls had been talking about other people, people who were no longer in the Camden's lives.

At dinner, Lucy witnessed Ruthie's concerns. Her parents were distant and barely spoke. Sam and David were oblivious to the fact that anything negative was going on with their parents. They had already forgotten about the conversation they had overheard hours before. Ruthie was stuck in the middle and for that, Lucy felt entirely responsible. She could have stayed. She could have listened to her parents. Instead, they all left and Ruthie had to pick up the pieces by herself. She was alone in this world with no one to depend on. Lucy hated how much Ruthie had gone through at only 18. She hated even more how much Ruthie had gone through at age eight. She had to make this better somehow; it was partially her fault, after all. She searched for Simon's phone number for a week when she finally found it.

When Simon answered, she wasn't expecting the deep voice of her baby brother, who was now a man. She became overwhelmed with all that she had missed in her little brother's life. She choked back tears and asked, "Is this Simon Camden?"

"Um, who is this?"

"It's Lucy. Is it you, Simon?"

"Lucy, why are you calling me? You know you're not supposed to! Mom and Dad will kill you!"

"I need you to come home."

"Why?"

"Ruthie needs you."

"Do you really think she's still there? Come on, you know she bolted once she turned sixteen. Why wouldn't she?"

"She stayed, Simon. She stayed for Sam and David."

"How would you know?"

"I'm home, Simon."

Simon was shocked by his sister's confession. He never expected to hear those words from Lucy of all people.

"We left Ruthie all alone and now things are starting to get much worse."

"Well, I'm sorry, but what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to come home and be her big brother."

"You know I can't, Lucy."

"Come on, you couldn't have done anything worse than the three of us and they kind of accepted me back."

"Why did you even go back?"

"Don't change the subject! At least try, and if Mom and Dad don't accept you then you can stay at my house."

Going home after seven years would not be easy, that Simon knew. If his parents had forgiven Lucy, there was a good chance they would forgive him, too. It was Ruthie he was worried about. The last five words she ever said to him still echoed in his head.

"Mom and Dad, maybe. Ruthie, absolutely not. She hates me."

"You're her big brother, she could never really hate you. Come on, it's almost Christmas, I know you can't be shooting now. You could even stay for Christmas!"

"I don't know about that, Christmas is still two weeks away."

"So? You're a director. You choose when you work."

"I don't think it exactly works like that."

"Sure it does! Come on, Simon. Even just for a few days."

"Fine. No promises, though."

Simon arrived in Glen Oak that Wednesday and he had never been so scared in his entire life. He was even more scared than he was when he left Glen Oak seven years ago at age 16.

_Simon Camden was going to be free from his family once and for all. It wasn't that he didn't love his brothers and sisters, it was his parents. He couldn't believe what his parents had done three years earlier. All he had to do was sign the emancipation papers and he would be free._

"_Mom, Dad, I have something important to tell you."_

"_Out with it son, we're listening," came from his father._

"_I'm officially emancipated. I sent the papers in today. I already started to pack my things and I hope to be out of here tonight."_

"_Why?"_

"_You know why, Mother."_

_Annie was shocked. She never wanted Simon to leave! Not her baby boy!_

"_Oh, so you want to be a rebel like your brother and sisters? You know how it ended for them, are you sure you want to go down that road?"_

"_If it means I get to be far, far away from here, then yes!"_

_His mother's face flashed with anger before she said, "I clean your clothes, cook your meals and you have the audacity to say you live a horrible life?"_

"_Yes, Mom, because this family sucks! We're not even a family anymore! I'm so tired of all the arguing and hate and hypocrisy!"_

"_Hypocrisy? You may be emancipated right now but I am your father and you will not speak to me or your mother that way!"_

"_Even if it's the truth? You guys preach forgiveness to everyone you talk to yet you can't forgive your own family!"_

"_I've had enough! Get out of this house and don't bother returning, Simon, because you won't be welcomed."_

"_That is just fine with me, Dad."_

"_We're very disappointed in you, Simon."_

"_Well, Mom, I'm very disappointed in both of you. Congratulations on being the worst parents ever. I'll be out by ten."_

_Simon was already walking up the stairs before Annie or Eric could say anything. Ruthie had been spying, as always, and froze when she heard what her brother had to say. He was the only one left. She needed him. She ran up the stairs and into Simon's room when she couldn't hold the tears any longer._

"_Were you even going to tell me?"_

"_Of course I was, Ruthie. I was just waiting for the right time."_

"_You're leaving tonight! I'm pretty sure any day BUT today would be a better time!"_

"_I didn't know how to tell you!"_

"_It's only three words, Simon! How hard can it be?"_

"_I wasn't even sure I would be emancipated! Why would I get you all upset over nothing?"_

"_If you knew it would upset me, why would you do it?"_

"_I have to, Ruthie. I'm sorry, but I have to."_

"_You have to leave your little sister alone with no one to support her? You're all I have left, Simon! I need you more than I need anyone else! Please don't leave me! Please!"_

_Ruthie couldn't hold the sobs in anymore. She fell to the ground, her face in her hands, pleading for her brother to stay._

"_Ruthie…I just…can't. It's too- I don't know how-"_

"_Stop. I don't need to hear your lame excuses. You're leaving me all alone because you're selfish. That's the only reason."_

"_I'm sorry, but I just can't be here anymore. You won't be all alone, though, you'll have Sam and David."_

"_First of all, you're not sorry. Don't lie to me. You want to leave. You_chose _to leave. Second of all, Sam and David are only a year old. How will they help me?"_

"_You'll figure it out somehow. You only have five more years until you can leave, too."_

"_I would never put Sam and David through this pain. I would never leave them alone with no older sibling to help them through this screwed up family. I'm not you, Simon, and I hope I never am. You wanna leave? Fine. But you're dead to me."_

_Simon watched his baby sister walk out of his room still sobbing. He was doing the right thing. She would be fine. He was sure of it._

_You're dead to me._

_You're dead to me._

_You're dead to me._

_You're dead to me._

The words repeated themselves over and over in his mind as Simon arrived at his childhood home.

_I'm not you, Simon, and I hope I never am. You wanna leave? Fine. But you're dead to me._

Simon knew Ruthie had kept her promise never to leave Sam and David. She had been there for them two years longer than she actually had to be. It was those four words he couldn't get off his mind as he drove to his childhood home. Would Ruthie stay true to those words, too?

Eric Camden loved this little restaurant. It was one of their favorites. They had found it when driving away from Glen Oak, and away from anyone who might see. No one could know. He would be ruined. His church was really taking off and he was even opening a second church soon. Reverends aren't supposed to do this. If word got out about this, no one would trust him. If word got out about this, no one would attend his churches. His family has been on a steady decline for the past ten years. He couldn't lose his job, too.

He wasn't sure why he was doing it, especially with the current state of his family. At one time they could have bounced back from something like this, but not now. No, the Camden family was permanently broken. There was no more love, or at least not enough. Maybe that's why he did it; to feel the way he used to feel.

She was so understanding, too. She knew he was married and what was at stake. She didn't care, though, because there was just something about Eric Camden that made him irresistible. Plus, it was fun. Never knowing if they would be caught, especially since his wife had become so insistent on knowing his whereabouts. It was all part of the game. And they were at the church some nights so it wasn't a _total_ lie. Usually though, they went to this little restaurant in a little town far away from their problems in Glen Oak.

Ruthie never thought about Simon. At least, she tried not to. There were some moments when she wished her brother was there. Today was one of them. She had taken a drive to another town to get away from her house and stopped to eat at a little restaurant. That's when she saw it. Her father, Eric Camden, was kissing a woman who was very much not her mother, Annie Camden. She had driven to this little town to escape the drama for a few hours. Who knew this trip would only make it worse?

Now, Ruthie was sitting in her backyard thinking about her dilemma. She couldn't decide which was better: telling her mom, telling someone else, telling her father she knew, or telling no one. Her thoughts were interrupted when a voice entered the backyard. A voice attached to a body she had hoped never to see again.

"You look like you have a million things on your mind."

"I do, so leave me alone."

"Can I help?"

"No. You can go die, though."

_But you're dead to me._


	3. famILY?

**Chapter Three  
famILY?**

**A single rose left to remember****  
****As a single tear falls from her eye****  
****Another cold day in December****  
****A year from the day she said goodbye**

**-Daughtry**

Simon was relieved when his parents accepted him back into their home. They weren't exactly kind and welcoming, but they were at least civil. Ruthie was being downright nasty to him. He expected that, though. He knew he hurt her when he left. That was the relationship he wanted to mend more than any other. He still disagreed with his parents, but Ruthie was his best friend. The two of them had been inseparable as children, up until he left. They told each other everything and got each other through the tough days, which were common. He had been hurt when his older siblings left, but he knew it wasn't their fault. It was their parents who made them leave.

He never really understood what happened. Well, he knew what happened he just didn't know why his parents reacted the way they did. They had always taught Simon and his siblings that families stick together no matter what. They support each other even if they don't entirely agree with the others' decisions. He had to get out, even if it did mean leaving Ruthie. He was fine without older siblings and she would be, too. She'd be too busy taking care of Sam and David to notice that he was gone anyway.

His prediction was incorrect, which was proven by the silent treatment he was receiving from Ruthie. He tried to get her to talk to him several times in the week that he had been there with no success.

"Ruthie, just please talk to me!"

"You haven't wanted to speak to me for the past seven years! Why the hell do you want to speak with me now?"

"Because you're my little sister and I love you!

"No, you don't! If you loved me then you wouldn't have left!"

"You don't understand, Ruthie. I couldn't take it anymore! I hated them so much! I still kind of do!"

"If you hate it so much, then why are you here?"

"I missed you."

"Please, suddenly, after _seven years_, you start missing me? I don't believe that for a second."

"I'm sorry, Ruthie. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No, Simon, you did. You could have stayed. You were the only one I had left and I needed you more than ever. Why don't you just go back to where you came from because I know you don't want to be here and I definitely don't want you here, either. We both get what we want."

"I do want to be here."

"Then why haven't you been?"

"I just couldn't be in that kind of environment, but then Lucy called me the other day and told me you needed help."

"And the truth comes out! I knew you couldn't have come here on your own. You don't give a damn about me and neither does Lucy."

"We're here now, Ruthie! Isn't that all that matters?"

"No. The people who were supposed to be there for me every single day left me alone when I needed them the most. Oh no, I'm sorry, I had Sam and David, who have no idea what happened!"

"Come on, Ruthie, we used to be best friends! We used to do everything together and tell each other everything!"

"Yes, the keywords being _used to_."

"Ruthie, please?"

"You know what? I have a lot to deal with right now and I don't need you here making it worse. So, please go back to where ever you came from."

"I can help you, Ruthie! Let me help you! I'm your brother, it's my job!"

"You stopped being my brother seven years ago."

_You're dead to me._

Ruthie went to Peter. He was the one who helped her through the past few years. They were in love and she was sure that one day they would be married and have a family together, a family that would be way less dysfunctional than her own. They told each everything and that's why Ruthie knew Peter was her best option concerning her father and his evening activities.

"Are you sure that's what you saw? Maybe it was just someone who looked like him. Or maybe he was just helping her and it looked like a kiss."

"I thought we agreed that you were going to stop with the maybes. I know what I saw, Peter, and it explains everything."

"Does he know you know?"

"No. I haven't told anyone but you."

"Are you going to tell him? Are you going to tell your mom?"

"I don't know! What are you supposed to do when your dad is cheating on your mom? Do they have a manual for that or something because I am totally and completely lost."

"I wish I could help more, but honestly I have no idea what to do either."

"I'll talk to him and go from there."

Ruthie Camden liked to talk. She didn't talk too much, but she was definitely not shy. She could start a conversation with a complete stranger over something that happened in the news that morning. She was a pro-conversation-starter and was proud of it. Unfortunately, her powers were no match for this conversation. She would go to open her mouth but the words just wouldn't come out. How does one tell her father that she knows he is cheating on her mother? Ruthie knew it was the right thing to do when it was only her and her father home, a very rare occurrence considering her father was usually with…her…

"Daddy, I have to talk to you," she spoke firmly while entering his office.

"What is it?"

"I, um, I know your, uh, your secret."

"You're right. I don't really put the salt in the ocean. I'm sorry I've lied to you for so many years."

"No, Daddy. The secret about…about why you come home so late."

"Honey, I'm the one who told you about the second church, of course you know!"

"Daddy. I saw you. You were at a little restaurant in another town and you were…you were kissing…I don't who but I know it wasn't Mom."

"Hm. You must have mistaken someone else for me."

"I know what you look like."

"Yes, I know, but it could have been some man who looked incredibly like me."

"Stop lying!"

"Ruthie, do you really think I would cheat on your mother?"

"I honestly don't know anymore, Dad. I don't know anyone in this family anymore."

"Things have changed drastically over the years, but we're still a family. We still love each other."

"Really? Then why do you ignore the fact that my older siblings exist?"

"Ruthie, that was a complicated situation. You were only eight; I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"Well, I'm eighteen now, so why don't you try to explain it to me?"

"I'm not playing this game with you. I have too much work to do."

Eric went back to work, to Ruthie's disbelief. This man sitting in front of her could not possibly be her father. Her father was supposed to be loving and kind. Now, he was cold and selfish. His family used to come first, but now work was more important than Ruthie. She wasn't too surprised, though. Look at what he had done to her older brothers and sisters.

"So, you're ashamed with what you did to them?"

"Ruthie! I am not discussing this with you! It happened ten years ago so just get over it!"

"You expect me to get over the four people I depended on the most leaving me? I needed them, Dad, and _you_ took them away from me!"

"Your mother and I had our reasons!"

"Tell me them, then, because I would love to know what good came from it."

"I don't have to explain anything to you! I am your father!"

"Well at least I know it was Darth Vader who took my father away!"

"I'm still here, Ruthie. I'll always be here."

"Yeah. Except when you're at church. Or 'church,' whatever you want to call it."

"I'm doing this for you. Once the second church is up and running, we will be able to afford more. We would be able to give you anything you want."

"I want my dad back. I want my parents to stop fighting. I want my brothers and sisters to be able to comfort me when I need it. I want my family back, Dad. That's the only thing I want."

"Your family is your mother, Sam, David, Lucy, and I. No one else."

"If you really want to put it that way then my family is Sam and David. No one else."

"Watch your mouth, Ruthie. You don't have to be a part of this family."

Lucy had missed her brother greatly. She hadn't seen him since he was about thirteen, just barely a teenager. Now, he was a man. He had scruff and a deep voice. She had spent a lot of time with Simon while he was home, mostly because she was the only one who was treating him kindly and lovingly. They caught up on each other's lives and visited all of Simon's favorite places. They even tracked down some of his old friends. Things were light until Simon asked the question she dreaded the most:

"So, what made you come back? And how on Earth did you get them to forgive you because it seems impossible."

"That's not important."

"Yes it is, I want them to forgive me. It would help if I had you as an example."

"I came back because I had no choice."

"What are you talking about?"

"I had some problems. I _have_some problems and I need to take care of them."

"I'm sure Matt and Mary would have helped you! At least much more than Mom and Dad would."

Lucy couldn't look at her brother. She was ashamed of herself and she was sure her brother would be, too. Telling her parents was easy. They didn't care about her older brother and sister, but this was her little brother. He didn't agree with his parents.

"Lucy? Why didn't you go to Matt and Mary for help?"

"I couldn't."

"Why? You guys were all in it together. Weren't you even living together?"

"Yeah, until they kicked me out."

"Go on."

"I felt guilty for going against Mom and Dad. I know it was the right thing, but they were my parents, you know? When we were kicked out, we agreed to never speak about Mom and Dad. They were a part of the past and didn't want us to be a part of their family. They didn't want their own children. They disowned us so we disowned them."

"That sounds reasonable. I know they hurt you really badly."

"They did, Simon, so much, but we were our own family. We supported each other through everything and kept no secrets. Until I got engaged."

"To Kevin? What, did they not like him? He seems like a good guy to me."

"When I was little, I would always dream of my wedding. I could never really decide on what I wanted, even when I was planning my real wedding, but I was always sure that Dad would be the one marrying me. Or at least walking me down the aisle."

"I'm sure Matt would have walked you."

"I didn't want Matt, I wanted Dad. So, I wrote a letter telling them I was sorry. I didn't get a response, so I sent another. I figured eventually they would get tired of me sending letters and respond just to make me stop. One day, I finally got a reply but from Ruthie. She told me she had seen the letters and had been trying to get them so she could reply. She congratulated me on my engagement but just thought it would be too soon for Mom and Dad. They were still angry even though it had been over five years. When Matt and Mary found out Ruthie had written me they wanted to read the letter, too. They were so pissed that I tried to contact our parents, even if it was for my wedding."

"They kicked you out over that?"

"No, that's just how it started. They didn't trust me anymore. We were trying to start over and I was trying to fix the past. They felt betrayed and we fought so much. We started keeping things to ourselves more and more and eventually barely spoke."

"Were Matt and Mary still getting along?"

"Not really. They were better than I was with either of them, though. They blamed me for their fighting and they were right to do so because it really was my fault, so I moved in with Kevin."

Lucy hated this memory more than anything. The day her brother and sister kicked her out was the worst day of her life.

_Matt and Mary were talking quietly at the kitchen table when Lucy entered the room. When they realized her presence, they immediately stopped talking. Lucy sighed, tired of the distance she had put between herself and her only family. She just wanted a traditional wedding, why couldn't Matt and Mary understand that?_

"_Talk to your parents lately? I'm sure they love you so much, that's why they kicked you out!" Lucy couldn't believe how bitter her sister sounded. Mary and Lucy had never talked to each other that way, even on their worst days._

"_I'm sorry you feel like I betrayed you, but I have dreamed of my father at my wedding for my entire life, Mary. What was I supposed to do?"_

"_He's_not_our father, Luce! He hasn't been for five years! Don't you get that?"_

"_Just because we're on the outs with them doesn't mean they're not our family! They raised us!"_

_Matt chimed in, adamantly saying, "You weren't even an adult yet when you left. Mary and I raised you because we had to."_

"_Oh, so the only reason they three of us decided to be our own family is because I wasn't an adult yet? If I had been eighteen, would you have left me on the streets?"_

"_That's not what I meant and you know it! But Mary and I have been soley responsible for you since that day because Mom and Dad got tired of taking care of you. They gave up on you, Lucy, and we never did. We're your family now. We're your_only _family now."_

"_I'm tired of being alone, guys."_

"_You're not alone. You're never alone," Mary tried to comfort her little sister, who was close to tears._

"_Ruthie is."_

"_Is that what this is about? Ruthie has Simon," Matt assured Lucy._

"_Simon's eighteen, now. I doubt he's still living at home."_

"_Alright, Lucy, do what you want. If you want to go back to those people, then go. If you want to turn your back on the two people who have been there for the past five years when your so-called family wasn't, then go. Pack your bags and leave; you have our blessing! But, don't expect Mary and I to be here when they push you away. You're an adult, now. Make your own decision."_

"_Isn't that exactly what Mom and Dad did?"_

"_No. The choice is up to you, but if Mom and Dad do actually let you back, they're not going to let you contact us. The only way for you to have Mom and Dad back is to let us out of your lives."_

"_It's your choice, Luce. Who do you want in your life?" Mary added with a shrug. She didn't want her sister to return to that house, not without Matt and herself. Lucy would need help to get back in the good graces of their parents._

_Without another word, Lucy began to make herself some breakfast. When she turned around, she noticed Matt and Mary had left for work. Today was Lucy's day off, so she had the apartment all to herself. While she ate, she thought about which she would choose: Matt and Mary or her parents. By the time she was clearing her dishes and putting them in the dishwasher, Lucy knew what she was going to do._

_She left a note by the front door to say goodbye before picking up her bags and walking into the hallway._

"Maybe they forgave you," Simon said, breaking Lucy from her thoughts.

"I don't expect them to, Simon. I betrayed them and the only reason Mom and Dad accepted me back was because they knew I went against Matt and Mary. They knew they had won."

That's when Simon thought of the perfect Christmas present for his older sister. He would make it happen; it was the entire reason he came home. He was going to fix this family, or at least his siblings.

Ruthie was pissed at her sister. How dare she tell Simon to return home without even consulting her? Lucy did not even know what happened between Ruthie and their brother. She wasn't there so it was none of her business! That was exactly what Ruthie was going to tell Lucy when she got to her house down the street from her parents. She opened the door to her sister's house without knocking and yelled out, "LUCY!"

Lucy recognized the voice yelling her name but could not figure out why her little sister would be yelling at her. She rushed down the stairs and met up with her sister at the door.

"What? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You called Simon to get him back here! Why would you do that?"

"I was trying to help you, Ruthie. I know you missed him!"

"How would you know? How would you know anything about me?"

"You're my little sister! I know when you miss someone!"

"You're _no_ sister of mine! You left Simon and I all alone in that house!"

"We were kicked out, what did you want me to do?"

"You could have stayed in contact! You could have sucked it up and stayed for us!"

"Ruthie, don't do this. I'm all you have left."

"No, no, see that's where you're wrong, Lucy. I don't have you. I haven't had you for the past ten years because who knows when you're going to decide to leave again. The only support I have is from Sam and David and they do very little considering they don't even know half their siblings exist."

"I came back for _you!_"

"You came back so that you could have your stupid little dream wedding. You don't care about anybody but yourself. That's why you ditched Matt and Mary and that's why you wanted Simon to come back. It benefitted you, and that's all you care about."

Ruthie turned around and left, leaving Lucy standing in the foyer in shock. Neither sister would let the tears that were welling up in their eyes fall. They were strong. They had to be in order to survive in their family.

Simon paced the floor of the guest room for twenty minutes before he got the courage to even pick up his cell phone. Dialing those numbers felt impossible. When he heard a voice on the other end, he was speechless.

"Hello? Is anybody there?"

Simon found his voice and responded, "Matt? Matt Camden?"

"This is he. May I ask who's calling?"

Simon took a deep breath before he replied, "It's Simon. Simon Camden."

The silence that came next made rethink his decision. He hadn't spoken to Matt for ten years! His thoughts were soon interrupted by a response, "How?"

"Well, I just dialed your number into the phone and-"

"No, Simon, that's not what I meant. How are you calling me? Why are you calling me? You know Mom and Dad won't approve. Do you really want to risk that?"

"You need to come home, Matt," Simon said, avoiding his older brother's question.

"What? Why? You know Mom and Dad will never let me."

"Stop thinking about Mom and Dad! We need you, Matt! Ruthie really needs you."

"She has you."

Matt's response shocked Simon. How was he supposed to tell his older brother that Ruthie didn't have him and she hadn't for about seven years?

"Um, yea, but she needs you, too," Simon stuttered.

"Please, she's the strongest out of the five of us."

"The five of who?" Simon asked, confused.

"The five Camden children…" Matt trailed off.

Simon had forgotten that his older siblings left before their youngest brothers were born. They didn't know each other existed.

"We have two younger brothers. Sam and David. They're eight year-old twins."

Matt wistfully sigh before he said, "I have brothers I don't even know about?"

"Come home and meet them, Matt. Come home and help your little sister. Both of them. Come on, Matt. We can't let Mom and Dad pull us apart."

"I'll think about it, Bro."

"That's all I ask. Christmas is coming up; maybe you can come for that."

"Yea, maybe."

Simon hung up the phone filled with hope. _This is going to work!_ He thought to himself. _Matt will come and fix everything! Just like he used to._


	4. The Truth Hurts, But so do Lies

Don't own any characters.

**Chapter Four  
The Truth Hurts, but so do Lies**

"**We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger."  
-Tad Williams**

The conversation Eric had just had with his youngest daughter terrified him. He thought he was safe from being found out. Thoughts raced through Eric's mind as he tried to decide what to do. Ruthie had dropped the subject but that doesn't mean she believed the lie Eric had told. He was sure she didn't. Ruthie is a smart girl and of course she knows what her father looks like. The look on her face when she threatened to kick her out killed him. It just kind of slipped out. He loved Ruthie; she was the only one who seemed to appreciate all Annie and he had done for her and her siblings. She was the only grateful one.

A sudden voice at the doorway of his church office made Eric jump. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't heard Lucy walk in.

"You okay there, Dad?" Lucy chuckled.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just didn't notice you there," explained Eric.

Lucy smiled. Her father had been stressed about the new church for months.

"You shouldn't stress about the new congregation. You did it once, you can do it again," Lucy reassured.

"That was a very different time, though, Luce," Eric countered.

Lucy knew her father was right. She also knew that it was her father's fault, along with that of her mother's. It was her parents who made their family this way. Her father deserved to suffer.

"Excuse me?" Eric startled Lucy. "What did you say?"

Lucy stuttered, unable to utter a complete word. "What do you mean?" Lucy responded when she was finally able to speak.

"You said something about suffering. I think you said something about I deserve to suffer."

Lucy was, once again, speechless.

"You think I deserve all this because of my choices? I was trying to hold our family together, Lucy!"

"Then why did you separate us?" Lucy yelled, the anger from that day coming back to her.

"Because you needed to learn something! Simon and Ruthie needed to learn something! It worked, Lucy! You realized your mistake and came home!"

"I didn't come home because I thought I was wrong. I came home because-"Lucy trailed off. Why _had_ she come home?

"Because why, Lucy?" Eric pushed Lucy to answer. He could not believe his daughter had lied to him.

"I guess I was just scared, Dad. I was only a kid; I wasn't ready to be on my own," Lucy said slowly, unsure of her answer. She had never said that out loud before, not even to Matt and Mary, although she was sure they knew. Lucy watched the multiple expressions flash across her father's face and immediately regretted her decision. His expression stopped on a mix between disbelief and anger before he said, "You are nothing more than a coworker. You are _not_ my daughter."

Lucy quickly nodded her head. She already knew that this was the agreement.

_Lucy grabbed her bags off the rotating belt and sighed. She had taken the first step and was back in Glen Oak. Unfortunately, the next part was the hardest and Lucy had no idea what to do. No one, except Matt and Mary, knew she was back home, so no one would be picking her up from the airport. She was also unsure whether she would have somewhere to sleep tonight._

"_I should have made hotel reservations, just in case," Lucy quietly whispered to herself while rolling her bags towards the door. She called a taxi and impatiently waited for it to arrive. _

_When the taxi finally appeared, she silently gathered her bags and got in, telling the driver the address of her childhood home._

_The ride was one of the longest Lucy had ever experienced. Her hands were shaking as she rolled her bags up the walk and rang the doorbell. Another eternity passed before the door opened revealing her little sister, who wasn't so little anymore. Ruthie's eyes widened at the sight before her. She had hoped for this day and couldn't believe it was actually happening._

"_What are you doing here?" Ruthie asked, trying not to sound too excited._

"_Are Mom and Dad home?" Lucy asked, purposefully avoiding Ruthie's question._

"_Yes, but do you really think they want to talk to you?" Ruthie responded with a half-chuckle. _

_Lucy sighed and closed her eyes. She was hoping her parents would be mature and welcome their daughter in. They didn't have to be kind, just civil. Ruthie interrupted her thoughts when she stepped outside onto the porch and closed the door. She led her older sister to the stairs and sat down. Lucy followed and waited for the younger girl to speak._

"_They're not over it, Luce. I've tried so many times but they just won't listen to me. They're _not_ going to listen to you. _I _am barely willing to listen to you. In fact, you've got five minutes," Ruthie said before looking at her watch and continuing. "And go!"_

"_I'm sorry, Ruthie. I'm really, really, really sorry!" Lucy said, hoping an apology would suffice. She knew it was too late for an explanation._

"_Is that all you've got? You left, Lucy! Simon and I had to fend for ourselves and then he left, too! Do you know what that's like?"_

"_I don't know what else to say, Ruthie! I know what I did was wrong!"_

"_Tell me why you're here," Ruthie responded sternly. Lucy looked at her baby sister and saw how much she had changed. In five years, it looked as if she had aged 20 years. Ruthie was no longer the cute, lovable little girl they had left behind. She was angry and hateful, and she deserved to be. _

"_I'm getting married."_

_Ruthie looked at her sister expectantly. Lucy shrugged, not knowing what Ruthie wanted. Ruthie rolled her eyes. "So?"_

"_So I want them there."_

"_Do you really think they don't know about it? They just don't care, Luce. Why are you _really _here?"_

"_I-I-I don't know," Lucy stuttered._

"_Well, you better figure it out before you talk to Mom and Dad. They're not going to let you in just because of some wedding."_

_Ruthie stood up and turned to enter the house when Lucy stopped her._

"_But do you forgive me, Ruthie?" Lucy asked in a small voice. _

_Ruthie made her way into the house and shut the door behind her, leaving Lucy in tears. A few minutes later, Ruthie returned._

"_You can come in," Ruthie said._

_Lucy looked at her little sister in disbelief. When she saw that Ruthie was not trying to play a trick on her, she stood up, gathered her belongings, and followed the younger girl into the house. Lucy was pleasantly surprised when she saw that nothing had changed. Her father's voice interrupted her when he said, "What are you doing here, Lucy."_

_She noticed the sparkle in his eyes was missing. They were no longer the loving blue orbs she had gotten used to as a child. Like Ruthie's, his face was now filled with bitterness, anger, and hate. Lucy took a step back before responding, "I want to come back home, Dad." She was terrified but tried not to show it. _

_Annie stood up from her place on the living room couch and walked toward her daughter. Lucy had not even noticed her; it was too dark. The entire house was not as bright as it had been years before which saddened Lucy. _

"_Why should we allow you back into our lives?"_

"_Because I-I-" Lucy lowered her head to the ground. She didn't have a reason. Lucy was about to cry when she noticed a brown curl peeking out from behind the kitchen cabinet. A second later, the face of her younger sister appeared, but this time, Ruthie looked younger than the 13 year-old girl that she was. Ruthie looked lost and Lucy knew she needed to help her. Lucy lifted her head up, looked her parents in the eyes and said, "Families forgive each other for their mistakes."_

_Her father stood up a little straighter so that he was his full height and said, "You are not a part of this family."_

"_Dad, please! Can't we work this out? I can work at the church and be Ruthie's sister, just like it was supposed to be!"_

_Eric thought a minute. Could he allow this girl back into this house? "You're _not_ Ruthie's sister. The most you will ever be is a coworker, but you are _not_ my daughter, nor will you ever be my daughter."_

"_I can handle that," Lucy said sadly._

_Eric exited to his study to work on his sermon for the coming Sunday, leaving Annie and Lucy alone in the foyer. Neither knew what to say to the other. Annie noticed Lucy's luggage and said, "Do you need us to call a hotel or do you already have a place to stay?"_

_Lucy nodded and said, "I'm fine, thank you."_

_Annie walked away from the girl to start dinner. When she had disappeared completely, Lucy walked into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa in quiet sobs. When she heard footsteps enter the room, her sobs immediately ceased. The last thing she needed was her parents to walk in on her crying. When she looked up, however, she saw Ruthie staring back at her. The girls locked eyes for several minutes before Ruthie spoke, "I can't forgive you. You know that, right?"_

_Lucy nodded. She had been optimistic that Ruthie would forgive her but she knew it would never really happen. "Can you at least understand why I did it?"_

"_I do understand," Ruthie shrugged. "I just can't forgive you for it."_

_Lucy felt the tears welling up in her eyes again. "Then why can't you forgive me, Ruthie?"_

_Ruthie looked her sister right in the eyes and stood there for a minute. "Because I don't trust you anymore, Lucy. You hurt me. All of you did. I won't put myself in the position to be hurt again."_

_Lucy felt the tears welling up in her eyes again. It was ruined. She had no one on her side anymore and she realized that had been when Ruthie had gone through. "I can be there for you, now, Ruthie. We can be sisters again and go through this together!" Lucy hoped her sister would agree._

"_It'll never be the way it was. Maybe one day we can be friends but I just don't trust you enough to let you in enough to be my sister. I've been hurt by too many brothers and sisters."_

_Lucy looked at her sister's eyes and saw the older girl, again. This scared Lucy. Ruthie had seen way too much for her young age. Lucy couldn't believe they had done this to Ruthie. It wasn't fair to her and Lucy was going to fix it, whether Ruthie was willing to accept her help or not. Two small boys entered the room and immediately noticed Lucy. "Who is that girl?" One of the boys asked Ruthie._

"_That's just Lucy," Ruthie responded. "She just moved to Glen Oak."_

_The boys both nodded before running off to play._

_Ruthie noticed the confused expression on her sister's face. "Congratulations, you have two new younger brothers," she said sarcastically before turning to find the young boys. _

Lucy softly sighed and looked at the man before her. She missed the days when they were a family.

Ruthie was tired of her room. She had been grounded for a week when she left during dinner, which was really before but her mother didn't see it that way. Ruthie still didn't understand why she should starve because of her father. She had taken a joyride the other day, which resulted in her being grounded for an entire month. Based on what she had seen that day and the fact that Simon was in her house again, Ruthie felt that being grounded for an entire month was cruel and unusual punishment, especially since Winter Break was coming up.

Today was the perfect day to sneak out. Her mother was busy getting ready for Christmas in a few days. Ruthie could sneak down to Peter's house easily. She crept down the attic stairs and peeked into the hallway to make sure none of her brothers were there. She loved Sam and David, but they could be tattletales. Simon would just tell on her out of spite. When she saw the coast was clear, she quietly crept to the stairs and listened so she could tell which staircase was safer to go down. Ruthie heard her mother cooking in the kitchen so she crept out the front door and into freedom.

Ruthie sprinted to Peter's house. He was her lifeline and she hated being cut off from him. She pounded on his door until it finally opened, revealing her nervous boyfriend.

"What's wrong?" Ruthie asked.

"Your mom just called. She wants you home."

"How did she know I was here?"

"I don't know, but she called my mom and now I'm in trouble, too!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you in trouble, Peter!"

"I know you didn't. You better get home, though."

Ruthie walked to her house slowly. She was in no rush to get back to her prison. As soon as she opened the front door, Ruthie heard her mother yell, "Ruth Ann Camden, get in the kitchen! _NOW!"_

After rolling her eyes, Ruthie made her way to the kitchen, where she found her mother with her hands on her hips and wild, angry eyes.

"You want to explain this to me, Ruthie, because I just don't get it. Why do you think you are allowed to leave the house when you're _grounded?_"

"Because you ground me for stupid reasons!"

"Since when is leaving a _family_ dinner a 'stupid' reason for being grounded?"

"Maybe since you kicked my older brothers and sisters out of the house and we stopped _being_ a family."

"I don't need your smartass remarks right now. I want an honest explanation as to what the _hell_ is going on with you that you feel the need to blatantly disrespect your father and me."

"I lost all respect for you ten years, four months, and two days ago."

"I am your mother, Ruthie, I know what is right for you!"

"Do you really think the life I have right now is better than what I had before? You think Sam and David have a better life when they don't even know all their brothers and sisters?"

"It was the right decision then and it is the right decision now."

Ruthie stormed past her mother and made her way up the stairs. When she reached the top, she found Simon with a smirk on his face.

"What's wrong with your face?" Ruthie sneered.

"Oh, I'm just really happy right now."

"Finally learn your ABCs? Aw, I'm so proud of you, Simon!"

"No. After almost two weeks of you making my life more difficult, I finally got to return the favor."

Simon turned to go in his room when Ruthie's voice stopped him.

"Wait a minute! _You're_ the one who told mom I left?"

"You always were the smart one," Simon said with a smirk.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because you're _grounded_, Ruthie, you're not supposed to leave."

"I'm aware of that, Sherlock, but now I'm in so much more trouble!"

"All I did was tell mom the truth. If you don't like what the truth is, maybe you should change it."

Ruthie scoffed as her brother entered his room and shut the door. She ran to her room and slammed the door shut, wishing for a new family.

Simon was proud of himself. Ruthie deserved all the punishment she received. She had been a brat since he arrived in Glen Oak. He was watching television when he felt a smack on the back of his head. Sure that it was Ruthie, he was very surprised when it was Lucy standing behind him.

"Why would you tell Ruthie that I called you?" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. I figured you had told her."

"Well, I didn't, Doofus, and now she's mad at me, too!"

"Did you really just call me 'Doofus'? That's a comeback from like third grade."

That comment earned Simon a smack and an even angrier Lucy.

"I called you to help fix this mess, not make it worse!"

"I'm trying, Luce, but you know how stubborn Ruthie is! It's going to take a while, especially since she doesn't trust me anymore."

"Yea, she doesn't trust me either! I thought we were finally getting somewhere, but now, thanks to you, I'm back to the beginning!"

"I'm sorry, Lucy, it was an accident. I didn't do it to make things worse," Simon said calmly.

"You need to fix your relationship with Ruthie, Simon. You're the one she went to the most when she was younger."

"But that was when we were younger. Things have changed!"

"Simon…" Lucy started before she was interrupted.

"I'll try, Luce. I promise, I will try my best."

Lucy nodded and turned to leave the room when she suddenly stopped walking. Simon looked what had caused her to stop all movement and saw Sam and David with confused faces.

Lucy turned to Simon and said, "This is all you." She walked out of the living room, sliding the doors closed behind her.

"Who are you?" Sam broke the silence.

"I'm Simon, you know that."

"But Ruthie said you were someone from church that Daddy was trying to help," Sam replied.

"Yea, and you were talking about knowing Ruthie a long time ago. Lucy, too," David added.

"Well, you see, I'm sorta, kinda…your older brother," Simon stumbled out nervously.

"We don't have any other brothers," David informed Simon, "only a sister."

"You each have three sisters and three brothers," Simon corrected the young boys.

"Sam's my only brother and Ruthie's my only sister," David enforced.

"You don't even know that Lucy is your sister?" Simon was confused as to why Sam and David wouldn't know about their relation to Lucy.

"No, she just works with Dad so she comes over a lot. She's not related to us at all," Sam said.

Simon had to fight back the tears in his eyes. Sam and David only had two siblings, as far as they knew. He couldn't believe Ruthie had done that.

_Simon didn't know if he should be excited or angry. His parents were pregnant again and he couldn't decide if they were trying to replace their three oldest children. Ruthie, who was sitting to his right, didn't know how to react either. She had always been the youngest and enjoyed the role._

"_What's going to happen to us, Simon?" Ruthie whispered._

_That question was what made Simon miss his older brother and sisters. Now that they were gone, he was the oldest and expected to know all the answers._

"_We'll be fine, Ruthie. We have each other," Simon assured her._

"_But, Simon, they won't even know…_them."

_Simon and Ruthie were afraid to speak their older siblings name in their house. They didn't know what would happen if Annie and Eric were to overhear them._

"_Sure they will! They still have us to tell them stories. That's what makes people, people anyway. It a person's soul you remember, not his or her body."_

"_Alright, if you say so..."_

"_Have I ever steered you wrong before?"_

"_Yes," Ruthie answered honestly._

"_Okay, that_might_be true, but still. It'll all be okay as long as we both work hard to make sure that baby know he or she has five siblings, not two."_

"_I'm in!" Ruthie exclaimed._

"_Great. Now all we have to do is find a way to tell Matt, Mary and Lucy."_

"_I think they'll know. They're good at their job. They have to know when they get a new sibling."_

"_That's true. Besides, they've been through it so many times!"_

_Ruthie and Simon both laughed, their moods lightened dramatically. Everything would be okay. They weren't going to mess up with this newest addition, though._

"So, so Ruthie never taught you anything?" Simon asked.

"She's taught us a lot of stuff."

"But nothing about me or Lucy or Matt or Mary?" Simon asked, starting to raise his voice, which scared Sam and David.

"Could you please not scream at my little brothers? That'd be great, thanks," Ruthie said as she walked down the last few steps and headed toward the kitchen.

Simon ran after her and grabbed her arm, turning her around/

"How could you not teach them about their family? We agreed that we would Ruthie! How could you just ignore that?"

"The same way you did."

"Ruthie, stop. Just give me an answer. Tell me how to fix this! I'm begging you!"

"Do you really think I wanted to talk about the four of you? Do you really think I was able to even think about you without bursting into tears? I'm the oldest, now. I have to be strong for them."

"Not even when they got older?"

"Sam plays basketball. He absolutely loves it and is one of the best players on his rec. team. He's also blonde with a knack for money. Did you know what David suggested as a nickname for Sam one day? 'The Bank of Sam.' How am I not supposed to cry after something like that. And David! He's so sneaky but loves helping others. He thinks he wants to be a doctor when he grows up. The older they get, the worse it is because the more they become like you and me. They play together the way all five of us used to."

"You could have at least told them that Lucy is their sister."

"I tried, but Mom and Dad were even trying to tell me that she wasn't my sister. And I told you, Simon, I'm going to protect them from any pain. You left them once. How do I know you won't leave them again?"

"It's not your choice, though, Ruthie."

"Do you really think Mom and Dad would have told them the truth?"

Simon didn't respond. He knew his sister had won as he watched her walk away from him.

**Okay, so thanks for reading all of this****I started it a long time ago and had a bunch of chapters already finished but I deleted all of them so that I could start over. I didn't like where it was going before so yea! I'm going to TRY to finish it this time. I want to, but I make no promises. It's been a while since I've even watched 7th****Heaven so I'm not as into it, but I want to write more. I want to be a journalist so I need as much practice as I can get! Haha.**

**I think it's dumb when people require a certain number of reviews before another update- people should write stories on here because they love to write or they love the show/movie/whatever. So I don't really care about reviews very much, but if you have any ideas or suggestions about what should happen next, please tell me! I have a basic idea of where this is going but I'm always open to suggestions! Also, if there's something you like, tell me and I'll add more. If you have constructive criticism for me, please let me know! I know I'm not perfect and I want to improve my writing skills, so if you have any suggestions that'd be awesome! If you have any questions, just ask. I know that sometimes what goes on in my head doesn't make sense to others.**

**I also don't know how regularly I'll be able to update. I'm in college now, so there are times where I'm just too busy. I'll write as much as I can, but school comes first! Especially now with finals and stuff. Gross.**

**Alright, well that's it. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Christmas Used to be Merry

Don't own characters or Barbie.

**Chapter Five  
****Christmas used to be Merry**

**Have yourself a merry little Christmas,  
it may be your last, ****  
****Next year we may all be living in the past  
- Judy Garland**

Sam woke up with a smile on his face. This was his favorite morning out of the entire year. He got out of bed and jumped on his brother in the bed across from his. Naturally, David freaked out and screamed, "What was that for?"

Sam pointed to the clock on their nightstand, which confused David at first. He then saw the date and jumped out of bed, running to the doorway. Seconds later, Sam joined his brother-both with smirks across their faces.

"Ready, set, go!" Sam shouted before taking off in a sprint.

"Merry Christmas!" The young boys shouted in unison while running back and forth down the hall. They had given up on getting into Ruthie's room to wake her up years ago. She always locked her door before she went to bed on Christmas Eve. When they asked her about it later Christmas morning, Ruthie would always just shrug it off.

Annie smiled at the excitement of her youngest sons as she crawled out of bed. She put on her bathrobe and opened the door to her bedroom, catching the attention of Sam and David. They stopped running immediately and waited for their mother to speak.

Annie smiled again and said, "Get ready for church and maybe I'll let you open a present before we leave for church." Sam and David ran into their room to find the suits their mother had laid out the night before. Annie shook her head and smiled. She loved the excitement of her two youngest children. Ruthie would not be as easy to get ready this morning as Sam and David were. Annie made her way to Ruthie's door and knocked, knowing it would be locked. When she heard no movement, she knocked again and said, "Ruthie! Are you awake?"

The only response she got was tears. Annie was not surprised as this was typical Christmas morning for Ruthie. For some reason that Annie could not understand, Ruthie was always more bitter on Christmas. She knocked again and said, "Ruthie, get up, please. Church is in about an hour."

Annie walked back down the stairs, knowing she wouldn't get a response. She went down to the kitchen to put the casserole she had prepared the night before in the oven before getting herself ready for church.

When the breakfast was finally ready to eat, Annie called the rest of the family down to the dining room, where they ate in complete silence. Christmas mornings weren't always like this. In fact, they used to be so loud one could hardly hear oneself think! There was too much in the way to have those breakfasts again.

When the family was finished eating, they put their plates in the dishwasher and piled into the family car. The drive to church was also silent.

After the service, the Camdens returned home and changed out of their church clothes. When everyone was changed, it was finally time for presents. They still drew names from a hat, but now bought presents.

Sam picked Annie and got her a plastic ring, one of the one's dentists give out. Annie thanked her son for the gift.

Ruthie picked Simon's name. She got him a one-way train ticket back to Hollywood.

"Thanks, Ruthie, good to know you care," Simon said sarcastically.

"I don't," Ruthie said sarcastically.

Simon picked David, but before he could hand the present to the younger boy, he heard Ruthie mutter under her breath, "What _do_ you get someone you hardly know?"

Simon glared at Ruthie before handing the bag to David. The gift was a video game, one that David had been asking for. Simon smirked at the shocked look on Ruthie's face. He would never tell that he flat out asked David what he wanted.

When Annie announced that she had chosen Ruthie, the confused looks on Ruthie and Simon's faces did not go unnoticed, but they were ignored. Annie didn't want to get into it with the two oldest children today.

While the rest of her siblings made their way up the stairs, Ruthie stayed in the living room with her parents. When she was sure her brothers were all the way upstairs, she turned to her parents and said, "Why do you guys keep lying to me when you do things that make it so obvious that you're not okay?"

Her father had a confused look on his face and said, "What are you talking about? I think this morning went pretty nicely."

"Yes," her mother agreed, "almost like how it used to be!"

Ruthie stared at her parents in disbelief. Had they even been in the same room as her? "It was nothing like it used to be! Not only was our entire family _not_ together, but you guys didn't pick each other's names!"

"Ruthie, you're reading too much into things. Your mother and I are fine."

Her mother agreed with her father and her parents left the living room to get ready for the rest of the day. Holding back tears, Ruthie made her way to the attic. She looked around her bedroom and reminisced on the days when it was Matt's bedroom. Matt had just moved out of the house, making the bedroom Mary's when the trio was kicked out. A picture caught her eye and she went over to pick it up. It was a picture of the five oldest Camden children on Christmas morning. Ruthie remembered the morning very well; it was the last Christmas with Matt, Mary, and Lucy.

_It was tradition for the Camden kids to sleep in Matt's room on Christmas Eve. It was easier to wake everyone up in the morning this way. Ruthie was the first awake, as expected, and crept down the stairs to have a peek at the tree her siblings and she had decorated weeks before. She noticed the presents under the tree and ran as quietly as she could back up the stairs. Once she got to the attic, she screamed, "Santa came! Matt, Mary, Lucy, Simon, wake up! Santa came!"_

_The siblings, who no longer believed in Santa, smiled at their youngest sister's innocence before getting out of bed and joining Ruthie in waking up their parents._

_Once the family made their way to the living room, Annie and Eric began handing out presents to their children one at a time. It was a tradition for youngest to go first, which made Ruthie very happy. She tore open the present to reveal a toy car for her Barbie's. _

_Ruthie happily announced that she had picked Simon's name. Simon successfully hid a disappointed sigh from his younger sister while she excitedly handed him her present. Everyone knew it wasn't good to get Ruthie. When he opened the present, however, Simon was pleasantly surprised. It was a piggy bank stuffed animal._

_Matt chose Ruthie's name and was excited to give her his gift. He had sold his entire CD collection to be able to buy it. He nervously watched Ruthie open the small box. When she saw what was inside, her face lit up and she tackled her brother in a hug. _

_It was a charm bracelet with four mini-heart locket charms. One had "Matt" written on it, one had "Mary," one had "Lucy," and the last had "Simon." Each held a picture inside of the respective sibling._

"_I know you don't want us to leave but eventually we're all going to have to, including you," Matt explained to her. "It doesn't matter how far away we are because you'll always have us with you. You're our little sister and we have your back no matter what."_

_Ruthie tackled her oldest brother with a hug. "Promise?" Ruthie questioned_

"_Of course! How could we forget our favorite youngest sister?" Mary replied._

"_Thank you!" Ruthie screamed while hugging each of her older siblings. "I love it! I'm never taking it off!"_

_When Annie revealed she had chosen her husband, the Camden children rolled their eyes. Their parents always cheated to make sure they chose each other, not that they minded, though. It meant Annie and Eric were still in love. They thought it was adorable._

_After all the presents were opened, Annie wanted a picture of all the kids. "It's my last Christmas with all five of my children living at home!" She exclaimed. She arraigned the children until they were in perfect positions. After telling them to smile, she shot the picture and then one more for safety._

_The children dispersed except for Simon and Ruthie. _

"_So, how was your Christmas, Ruthie Camden?"_

"_It was the best Christmas ever, Simon Camden. How was yours?_

"_It was absolutely perfect!"_

"_Promise me we'll always have perfect Christmases."_

"_Of course we will! As long as we're all together, we will always have perfect Christmases." _

"_What if one day we're not all together?" Ruthie said sadly. She hated thinking about her brothers and sisters leaving her._

"_We're family. We'll _always_ be together."_

"_Pinky promise?" Ruthie asked as she stuck out her pinky finger. Simon chuckled before grabbing her pinky with his own. "Pinky promise."_

"_Even when you're a famous director and you are too busy living out your dreams to spend time with your little baby sister?"_

_Simon rolled his eyes, his sister was always saying he would be a director even though he had no idea what he wanted to be. At the moment he was leaning toward cowboy, but he knew it was useless to correct her._

"_That would never happen, Ruthie. You're my baby sister _and _my best friend! I will always make time for you. You matter more than anyone or anything ever has or ever will."_

"_Even ten years from now?"_

"_Forever and for always. I love you, Ruthie."_

"_I love you, too, Simon. I'm glad you're my big brother, even when we fight."_

"_I know, Ruthie, and I'm glad you're my little sister. _

_The pair hugged and walked to their respective rooms._

_Ruthie showed her charm bracelet off to everyone, including strangers. She loved that bracelet more than any other possession. It made her feel loved and remembered, as her siblings grew older. She knew one day they would all live somewhere else and she would be the only one living in their parents' house, but the thought no longer scared her. She knew her brothers and sisters would be there forever and for always, no matter the distance._

The summer after that Christmas, Matt moved into an apartment of his own. He was in college and wanted the freedom that came with living on his own. He was still close by, though, and could visit his younger siblings whenever he or they wanted.

Ruthie unconsciously touched the chain around her neck, where her charms now resided. After Matt, Mary and Lucy had been kicked out, her parents would not allow her to wear the bracelet. She tried to hide it from Annie and Eric, but they caught her most of the time. When they threaten to confiscate it, she finally gave in and took the bracelet off. Tired of seeing his sister so sad all the time, Simon came up with an idea to tie them around her neck on a long piece of string. Ruthie loved the idea and was thankful she still had Simon around. When she got older, she bought herself a nice chain to wear them on. Thankfully, even ten years later, her parents had never noticed it.

The memories of that Christmas became too much for Ruthie and she began to sob. She flopped onto her bed and shoved her face into her pillow, still holding the picture. She was sobbing so hard she didn't even notice someone had entered the room.

"Are you okay?"

Ruthie lifted her head to see her older brother, Simon. She screamed, "I'm fine! Just go away!"

Simon had let his sister sob by herself once, he was not about to do it again. He made his way over to her bed, where he sat down beside her while rubbing her back. "Talk to me, Ruthie. It'll make you feel better to get it out."

Ruthie then flipped over to her back and sat up, glaring at her brother through the sobs. She yelled, "It's never going to be okay, Simon!" while punching the boy in his chest. Simon let her beat him up for a few minutes before reaching to hug her. At first, Ruthie resisted, but then finally let in. She sobbed in his shoulder.

When Ruthie finally stopped crying, she leaned away from her brother, allowing Simon to notice the picture in her hand. After realized that the picture was the one he had taken with his siblings eleven years ago.

"I miss those days," he said cautiously, not wanting to provoke his sister.

"Me too. But we can't go back, Simon. None of us can. This family just can't be fixed, at least not anymore."

"It's not too late, Ruthie!"

"Yes, it is, Simon! Don't you get it? We're not the same family we once were! We're not the same _people_ we once were! All of that has been ruined! Forever!"

"How can you be so sure? Maybe, if we try really hard, maybe one day things will be better."

Ruthie reached in her shirt, pulling out the long chain around her neck and showing Simon the charms. "You guys promised me forever but only gave me months."

Simon had forgotten about that present. Matt had discussed it with Mary, Lucy, and Simon before giving the bracelet to Ruthie and they had all agreed it was the perfect present. They had never planned on leaving their baby sister; it just kind of happened. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

And she was. Ruthie wished more than anything for her family to go back to the way it was eleven years ago. She missed her older brothers and sisters more than she would like to admit. All five of them were close growing up, despite the age differences. The pair sat in silence, thinking about past Christmases, when they heard a bustle at the front door.

"That's probably Lucy and Kevin," Ruthie whispered.

Simon nodded and stood up without taking his eyes off of Ruthie. It was like he was afraid she would disappear if he looked away even for a second. He tried to give her a hug, but was pushed away.

"This doesn't mean things are okay, Simon," Ruthie huffed with an intense glare at her brother. She then pushed past him and made her way down to the main floor of the house where she greeted Lucy and Kevin with a fake smile on her face.

Lucy noticed the chill between her two younger siblings. It had been there since Simon arrived back in Glen Oak, but today it was different. She couldn't quite tell, but she hoped it was a good kind of different.

The family sat down to eat their Christmas dinner in the formal dining room. Sam and David excitedly told Lucy and Kevin each gift they had gotten that morning. Lucy was delighted to see their little eyes light up when they talked. They were so innocent and unbroken, unlike their older brother and sister who were currently sending glares at each other. Lucy sighed, disappointed that things had not gotten any better between Simon and Ruthie and based on the glares she, too, was receiving from her younger sister, things were not right between them either.

Lucy kept her eyes on Ruthie. The girl looked much older than 18 and that saddened her deeply. Ruthie was always smiling when she was a child but now that smile was replaced with a permanent frown. She looked tired and worn out, as if she hadn't slept for months, or even years. The past ten years had definitely taken its toll on Ruthie, more so than any other family member. Wanting to cheer her up, Lucy asked, "Ruthie, what did you get for Christmas?"

"Broken promises," was her snarky response.

"Ruthie, be polite to your sister," Annie corrected the young girl.

"Why should I?"

"Because she's your family whether you like it or not."

This response infuriated Ruthie. She stood up turned to her mother and yelled, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"That language is not appropriate, apologize to your mother now, Ruthie!" was heard, but ignored by the young daughter.

"You two kicked Lucy out of our family as well as Matt and Mary! Your own children! In my opinion that's not very polite, now is it, Mother?"

"Ruthie Ann Camden we are your parents. We know what is best for you!"

"I hardly think eliminating people who have been there for me since the day I was born from my life is what's good for me! And then when I try to follow your stupid rules, I get yelled at! You don't want Matt, Mary, Lucy and Simon to be a part of our family, I am just fine with that! Hell, the only family I have are Sam and David! They're the only ones who love and support me!"

Ruthie stormed out of the room, slamming the front door. The family heard a car door slam shut and the squeals of tires as the car drove away.

"Who are Matt and Mary?" David said, breaking the silence.

Eric and Annie looked at each other for the first time since dinner started. They had always dreaded telling their youngest sons about what had happened before they were born, but they didn't think that conversation would come so quickly.

"Some people we used to know," Eric said, hoping the boys would take it as an acceptable answer.

"But Ruthie said they were in our family," Sam responded.

Eric looked at Annie again, telepathically trying to figure out what to tell the young boys.

"Family means different things to different people," Annie covered.

When neither of the boys said anything else, Annie and Eric took it as that the pair was satisfied with the answers they had received and sighed in relief. The rest of the dinner was silent. Everyone was afraid to make a sound.

Simon couldn't believe what his sister had done. Hadn't she learned from his mistakes? He was terrified at what his parents would do to her, but a part of him just didn't care. Ruthie knew what she was doing. She was leaving her family, just like Matt, Mary, Lucy, and himself. After all the grief he had received from her over the past two weeks, he couldn't believe she was doing the same thing. Maybe Ruthie would be back in a few hours, but that didn't make up for it. He was pissed at his little sister for doing this. Simon was shocked when Annie came running into the room. The look on her face let him know that something was wrong. Dead wrong.

"It's Ruthie. We have to get to the hospital. Now."

**Sorry this took so long. I finished school last Thursday so before then I was busy studying and procrastinating and stuff. I've also been making this video for my Com class, which took up most of my time because it kept freezing the computer. I really hate technology. A lot. This past week I've been busy visiting people and sitting around doing absolutely nothing. It was nice. Plus, I couldn't decide some details of this chapter. **

**While I was procrastinating, I made some changes to the first four chapters. They're not too major but I would read the phone call between Matt and Simon again because big stuff changed there.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I hope this chapter helps out with some of the confusion of stuff. If you have any other suggestions or whatever, please tell me!**

**Thank you for reading! :) **


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